Featured, Uncategorized, Video — May 16, 2013 at 12:49 PM

The Fastest Way To Board an Airplane: REVEALED (VIDEO)

Fastest Way To Board An Airplane: Revealed
Fastest Way To Board An Airplane: Revealed

What’s the fastest way to board an airplane? We’ll get to that. But first…

In the last 50 years, humanity has seen hundreds upon hundreds of astonishing medical, technological, mechanical and social innovations:

  • The eradication of most childhood disease.
  • The ATM, video recorder, computer, and microwave.
  • DNA analysis & the CAT Scan.
  • The Iphone & a multi-trillion dollar highway of inter-galactic inter-connected wires, cables & desk top hardware designed to accomplish one vital task: share photos of dogs & babies.

We live in an age of magic, wonder and awe.

And yet, airplane travel still sucks. In fact… if you’ve been on the plane in the last 40 years you know… there doesn’t seem to be a fastest way to board an airplane. At least not yet.

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What’s the Fastest Way To Board Passengers Onto an Airplane? We’ll tell you.

America’s airlines are hopelessly mired in the 1940s. Just like the hosts of the FOX Morning News team. The airline’s flying, seat configuration, use of interior space, maintenance, fueling and cleaning systems – virtually unchanged. 50 years later, they still routinely cancel flights and lose unprecedented amounts of luggage. 25% of the time flights arrive and leave late. And, despite 50 years of technological wizardry — no matter how late a plane departs — the flight attendants still serve the meal… just as I finally fall asleep.

It’s a wonder MORE frustrated people don’t poop on the beverage cart. (True story)

And what is customer’s #1 airline complaint? Waiting. Waiting to get on the plane. Followed closely by having their nut-bag grabbed. You know, before they finish eating their nuts. Both of them.

HOWEVER: Thanks to some unprecedented research conducted by Dr. Jason Steffen, an astro-physicist at Fermi Lab (and member of the Kepler Project team) and well… me for This vs That, the new science and investigative series, there could be a solution that dramatically speeds up airplane boarding… And it doesn’t involve using a catapult.

(L to R) Brad Sherwood, Chris Tallman, Mark DeCarlo and Dr. Jason Steffen.
(L to R) Brad Sherwood, Chris Tallman, Mark DeCarlo and Dr. Jason Steffen.• Remember: This vs That has no commercial interruptions AND no ads on our site to distract you from the gorgeous high-def presentation. 

• No ads also means This vs That is 100% independent. We don’t answer to a network or advertiser. Just the truth.

• Our Motto: No Bias. No Bullshit. Just Science, Face & Funny.

OK. So, why does it take so long to board an airplane?

Here’s your Top Five Reasons (in no particular order)

  1. Airlines board 1st class passengers first. They clog the aisle preventing those who get on after them from getting their seats in the back of the plane.
  2. People who have aisle seats get seated before people in window seats. The result? Aisle sitters have to get up to let the window sitters pass them. This clogs the aisle.
  3. People who are seated in the front part of economy block the aisle, preventing people  in the back from getting by.
  4. The aisle is TOO narrow. At any given time, only one person can occupy the aisle space to put luggage in the overhead bin. This clogs the aisle.
  5. The law of unintended consequences. When airlines began charging for stowed luggage, passengers began cramming more into their carry ons. These bags are now heavier and bulkier and even more difficult to wedge into the overhead bin.
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Co-Host Chris Tallman is overwhelmed by all of the airlines additional fees… which are literally suffocating him.

Without giving away the experiment’s results — in order to be a success — any effective boarding method will have to do a better job than current systems of maximizing the simultaneous use of aisle space.



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