Featured, The Latest, Video — August 22, 2013 at 10:42 AM

World’s Most Infuriating Traffic Jam Cause: Revealed

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World’s Most Infuriating Traffic Jam Cause: Revealed
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What causes the world’s most infuriating traffic jam? You know, the one that makes even the most introverted Americans scream like a sorority girl in a Freddie Kruger movie?  Great news. We’re going to reveal the secret…

But first…some background.

The average American commuter spends 38 hours a year stuck in highway traffic. Even worse news, 36 of those hours are spent stuck next to that guy in the Plymouth Vega with the rolled down windows whose still blasting “Gangham Style” on the 19 of his 36 speakers that he hasn’t blown out yet.

And even worser news, If you live in Los Angeles or near Washington, DC, the number of hours stuck in highway traffic jumps to almost 60 hours a year. On the upside for Los Angeles commuters, during more than half of those hours stuck in traffic, you’ll be driving next to a very pretty girl who spends most of the drive adjusting her breasts as she rushes off to an audition.

According to Texas A&M’s annual traffic mobility study, cumulatively, American drivers spend 5.5 billion unnecessary hours stuck in traffic… which results in the purchase of an additional 2.9 billion gallons of fuel.

So, what causes all this traffic?

  • Too many cars on the road simultaneously.
  • Too many entrance & exit ramps on the highway.
  • The uniformity of the American work schedule.
  • Accidents

And as frustrating as all of this is… there’s one highway traffic scenario more so than all the others — that is more infuriating, more confusing, more “What the F?” than all the rest. It’s the one where you’re cruising along at 70mph… and then… suddenly… and without warning… you are now creeping along at 3 miles an hour… And this goes on for like 10 minutes…. that feel like 10 millennia… And then… just as suddenly, you’re back to going 70mph. Baffled, you look around there’s no cops, no accident, no exploded tire, no Lindsey Lohan, nothing to indicate what caused the world’s most infuriating traffic jam.

Well, here’s the answer.

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  1. There is one, count it, ONE reason for traffic jams on the highway. Stupid people who think they are such great drivers, when in reality, they all suck balls at it.

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